We can’t help it.  We all bring our past experiences to the table as mediators and many of us (Westerners) view parties and issues from a Western perspective.  But how well does that work when the parties in the mediation are Eastern, Middle Eastern, or African?  Do they view issues from the same perspective as us?

Several years ago I mediated a domestic dispute between an Iranian husband and Afghani wife.  The majority of the friction between the parties related to a dowry and how the bride’s family was shamed in light of the dowry paid.  In the beginning, I was focused on the rightness and wrongness of repayment, that is, which party was entitled to the dowry if anyone.  But once it became clear this was not important and focused on honoring the bride’s family, we were able to reach an agreement.

In our culture, we are highly individualistic and place great emphasis on guilt or innocence, or who was treated rightly or wrongly.  As mediators we often take this approach in helping parties reach a solution.  It’s worked before with American parties, so why wouldn’t it work with everyone?

In many Non-Western countries the issues are not about guilt/innocence or right/wrong.  Instead, their focus is on how the dispute brings honor or shame to a family or community.  It’s not how I was wronged, but how was my family or community shamed.

We each have presuppositions whether we realize it or not and setting them aside can be difficult. The first step is to be aware they exist, and consider the parties themselves may have different viewpoints based on their culture and custom norms.  Only then can then listen to each party’s concerns and avoid jumping to conclusions based on our own “Western” presuppositions.